Someone maroon me, PLEASE.

AHOY THAR ME HEARTIES! I suffer from a condition known as piratitus. The only known cure is to unlease my innner pirate on a tropical island for a few weeks. THIS, AND ONLY THIS WILL SAVE ME! --------------------------------------------------- Dear Whoever: I AM NOT A MODEL. I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY MODELLING. DOES THIS MAKE ME ANY LESS ELLIGIBLE FOR AN AUDITION? I SHOULD HOPE NOT... Please pay attention to the following: I am NOT some fame-hungry whore. I don't wanna be a TV presenter or any crap like that. My dreams do not consist of becoming the next Jade Goody, Chantelle or whoever. I am smarter than that. I seek only FUN -- nothing more, nothing less. And: I meant what I said earlier about piratitus. It's a serious condition. You dudes could SAVE MY LIFE.

Lucy is inspired by:

Pirates, (who saw that one coming?!), Nature, Contemporary art, Polaroid photography, Fashion, Vinyls (although I have recently submitted to this Ipod shit - but only for portability), a good book, chatting to my folks, and finally; my own vomit.

Magic Moments:

Mine would probably involve travelling. I wish I could say graduating uni, leaving home, etc, etc, but those are personal, yet common, landmarks and I kinda feel like they are more about me living upto society's expectations... But I digress... So, my best travelling experience by far was studying the art of blagging in Los Angeles for a month. Lived the Hollywood lifestyle for all 4 weeks and barely spent a cent. (Accept in Amoeba Records, which is actually heaven on earth.) Still don't know how I managed to come back to the UK. God knows I tried to avoid it. Anyways, if I'm bragging (which I guess I am) then my personal highlights include: meeting lots of famous(-ish) people, skinny dipping in a rockstar's pool, drinking enough Mountain Dew & Vodka to keep me away for over 48 hours, witnessing much wierd and fucked-up shit, getting into more free parties than you've had hot dinners, running around Vegas barefoot in a slightly retarded 50's prom dress (and getting pissed up in the Star Trek bar), celebrating the 4th of July.. YANK-STYLE!! (we burnt a US plastic flag and nearly choked on the fumes.) Came back a totally different person. To summise the whole experience: it was kinda like LSD. But better. Rock and roll.

My talents:

I have never-ending passion and enthusiasm for most things (note: not wasps), I'm pretty hot at inventing ways to prevent boredom/cabin fever. I'm SPONTANEOUS! (Spontaneity is the key to a happy, but somewhat descructive lifestyle.) I'm great at making up random words. I give a good hug. I'd be swell at decorating the island (I make random things when I'm bored. My chewing gum/sweet wrapper/filter tip sculptures are LEGENDARY.) I am a great conversationalist. I can argue with the best of them with both brutal honesty and slight amounts of venom (It is a talent, you'll just have to trust me..) I can swordfight (well, fence. Well, I had two lessons when I was eight..) I can also milk the following animals; goats, sheep, cows. (My Pops used to be a farm hand.) People tell me I'm interestingly eccentric. (Not "mad" or "crazy", I just have a few bees in my bonnet.) I have an opinion on EVERYTHING and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I bake a GOOD cake.

My vices:

Fags, dark rum, talking/thinking about pirates, my temper, cats wearing hats (I LOVE IT! Moggies in costumes is surely the height of our civilisation and the pinnacle of modern culture!) I bite my nails and pick at the skin around my nails (I know, its gross right? Well its force of habit I'm afraid...) I am also: constantly attached to my ipod, I have STUPID romantic tendancies, eternal optimism, an overt sensitivity, I shout when I get excited, suffer from bouts of hyperactivity, can often be o-so-slightly pretentious (and I secretly enjoy it), I guess I'm pretty materialistic (I have alot of STUFF. I like stuff.) Oh yeah, I give a damn about what I look like so I guess that's vanity.. And finally: Hollyoaks!! (So bad it IS good. At least that's what I tell myself at 6.30 pm every monday through to friday.)

A final word of advice...

"When you grow old, your heart dies" (The Breakfast Club)

Hometown

Bromsgrove

Occupation

Secretary/Swashbuckler

Relationship status

Single - (LOVE SUX.)

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