Mumps and me!

Well, my left testicle swelled up to the size of a melon! No joke, I had to carry it to the toilet cos it was so heavy. If you have never had mumps, lads in particular, it feels like someone has taken a swing at your nads with a cricket bat. And the pain is like that constantly! But the worse thing was having to go to the hospital and having an old lady doctor fiddle down belong, 'assessing' the situation. Vile.

My tastes....

...are wide and varied. I love all kinds of food, drink, films and music, however, I have a paricular penchant for bad taste. But we're talking good bad taste (i.e the greatest hits of Belinda Carlisle) not bad bad taste (i.e Kenny G). A hero of mine is Stephanie Zinone, as in Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2, the very definition of cool.

My ambition is...

..to bust into a massive dance routine in a hugely public place and have everyone join in AND, I'm leading (like Michael in Thriller, etc.). It would an electro track with a filthy beat and plenty of sweat!

I once...

...wrote a story called 'The Mong' in year 3, which was all about a fluffy Mong that lived all by itself on a mountain. Bit offensive really. And, I once drew a picture of Willy Wonka in his chocolate factory in year 2 but just as I finished I threw up all over it. Boo hoo.

I was molested...

...inside a DINOSAUR costume, by a Welsh woman who wanted to sit on the dinosaur's tail! She lifted off the helmet, in front of the kids and snogged my face off. Plus, she had THE worst breath ever! Fact. She must love animals or something. Whatever rubs ya rhubarb I suppose.

Hometown

Portsmouth

Occupation

Dancer/Entertainer/Mouseketeer/T Bird

Relationship status

Void

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