What am i

A socialite, an energetic, ambitious, genuine bloke and a great lover.

Favourite Music

I have such a broad music taste, I couldn't fit into one bracket. I would love to hear all 73 music genres compiled into one song. It has been done once before, by a composer named Chumley. He performed in front of a live audience in Sheffield. Nobody left the arena alive, except Chumley that is. However, he was rendered a cripple, impotent and emptied his bowels as a direct result.

Favourite Films

I certainly do love a good film…almost as much as loving a new pair of slacks. Any-who my super special bestest film of all time has to be: ‘Blimey! I do love these cakes, but man do they give me wind.’ It was a compelling story of a baker named 'Freddy' who lost his entire family in an unfortunate oven miss hap. To avenge his family’s death it figured to spend 15 years cooking with the cake expert: Chef McCake Cakewise, who had (incidentally) also lost his family….and his penis in a baking related accident. Strive Freddy did and succeed he did. But as we all know, everything has a price. This price was flatulence! and boy did his local town pay!!!! Not only in embarrassing fart associated incidents, but also internal rupturing of the bowel. Pure liquid philosophical genius in a glass of unparalleled symmetrical harmony. It makes me do an enormous sex wee thinking about it.

Favourite Books

I read a most compelling book just 1 month ago named 'Coko-Choco'.It had everything; it kept me on the edge of my bean-bag (that wasn't a euphemism for my scrotum, I do actually own a bean-bag ((and a scrotum, for that matter))). It was all about some bloke called Chadsworth Danslow. He was a maverick in the confectionary industry. He had Cadbury's quivering in their chocolaty boots. His Company 'Nesbury's' had a dark secret. Instead of using traditional sugar in their chocolate, they opted for a different, more expensive ingredient-Cocaine. Surprising as it may seem, the chocolate was very tasty and not so surprisingly - addictive. But at £32.99 for a 7 square bar, they needed to rely on some great advertising. All in all - 7 out of 10.

Interests

One of my all time interests has to be the phenomenon that is the roly-poly. There is something quite unique about a roly-poly. I once watched a man do 513 consecutive roly-polys in Berkshire. Once he’d finished he couldn’t remember what hair was, he didn’t know how to eat, he soiled his undergarments, he thought he was related to a stick he found on the floor, he’d start a sentence with a full stop, he couldn’t remember his wife and kids - consequently sold them into slavery and prostitution, and he thought dogs were made of lemons and cement. They really do make me laugh.

and in conclusion..

the above may not be the whole truth, well music downwards.. Umm

Hometown

Isle of Wight

Occupation

Clothing Shop Proprietor

Relationship status

single

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