TO BE POSTED VERY LOW ON THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note; placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a race track. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butts. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.That 's why they call it "fur" niture. 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you , it's an animal. To me, he/she is a son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember, Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: Eat less; they don't ask for money all the time; they are easier to train; normally come when called. They never ask to drive the car. They don't hang out with drug-using friends. They don't smoke or drink. They don't want to wear your clothes; they don't need a ga-zillion pounds for college. And if they get pregnant, you can sell their children............................................................................. I'm Sorry... For all the mean things I might have said. I'm Sorry... For all the things I did or didn't do. I'm Sorry.. If I ever ignored you. I'm Sorry... If I ever made you feel bad or put you down. I'm Sorry... If I ever thought I was bigger or better than you. I Care for You... Don't ever forget that! Through bad times and good, I'll always be here for you. I am Sorry... For everything wrong I've ever done. I'm writing this because what if tomorrow ........ .... ... …. YOU BECOME A BILLIONAIRE ........

More about me

Favourite music and films

I listen to most things, but i dont often get an option, usually its the neighbours choice, the walls are a bit thin. Films? One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest, The Shining almost anything with Jack Nicholson in although i usually dont like violent or psychological thrillers as i have to sit behind the sofa all the time. Love soppy Disney, cried when Bambi's mum was killed

Scared of

Large expanses of water, hey that would be great on the island wouldn't it? Being without chocolate, I cant even begin to imagine what that woud be like, also scared of being totally alone, in my profession i see so many old people who have no one, its sad and scary. We are entering the 'dump a granny' season that is Christmas, all those poor old people get admitted to hospital then the family dont wasnt them back, i would hate to think that my children might do that to me

Happiest when

I'm quite easy to please and dont demand much to keep me happy.I'm content downing a few Stellas, watching sport, sleeping, being with friends and certain members of my family, when I have just got paid and of course eating chocolate

My Hero(s)

Jane Tomlinson, since Kylie was diagnosed with breast cancer she has hardly been out of the papers with everyone praising her courage. After Jane was diagnosed with TERMINAL breast cancer, she went on to train and qualify as a radiologist and then went on to raise over £1.75 million for charity, she ran numerous marathons including New York, she was the first person with terminal cancer to compete in and complete the Iron Man Triathlon and she recently recently completed a cycle across the USA. Now that is what I call a hero! RIP Jane 03/09/07

Hometown

Surrey

Occupation

Nurse /Manager in a Care Home

Relationship status

OK thanks

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