Me:

I have a cat called Timmy, he is cute, he likes to watch me poo. Basically I am a typical bloke. Middle class upbringing, working class attitude. I like: fast cars, fighting (for sport), drinking beer at the weekend, smoking tweeds during the week, making dens, touching boobies, shouting at other road users, vulgarity in all its beautiful forms, eating pussy, being in bed, lesbian sex, rimming ROSALIND T, making stuff, destroying stuff, and angry masturbation. I like to think of myself as an intelligent, caring and occasionally funny kind of chap, with an enormous penis. Sadly, it would appear I'm a little deluded.

Words and stuff:

Favourite word: Organzola - It's willy cheese!YUK! Least favourite word: lol - Why? Most occasions this is written are not in the slightest bit funny. Most commonly used phrase: "I'm never drinking absynthe again". I like to meet people who are able to both read and write, which pretty much rules you lot out.

My Pet Hates:

Dogs. He's a cat you see! (lol!) Personally, I'm not too keen on stupid people and political correctness for the sake of it. To me, political correctness is like a faggot-nigger-spastic that belongs in the kitchen. Now that's an offensive sentence. If you find yourself offended by it, youre either gay, black, female or disabled in some way. If you fit into any of the above 'categories', please accept my sincere appologies for any offence caused.

Scared of:

Midgets (I'm 6ft 4), they freak me out. Sorry little dudes, but you do. Shoo you little bastards! Oh and girls! Also I'm a little frightened of getting bummed.

Breasts/ass/legs/other

Ass. All the way. Damn it, thinking about ass now. I'm not shallow. Promise. I fucking LOVE ROSALIND T. If you're ROSALIND T, I would very much like to marry you. Or make you cum. Or stick my finger up your bum.

My Hero(s)

ROSALIND T. Myranda Didovic - she does the worlds biggest poo! Wanderlei "the axe murderer" Silva - He's just an animal. My brother. He has slight autism, tragic discalculia (numbers confuse him), and minor co-ordination problems, and yet his enthiusiasm and spirit puts me to shame. He's 27, a virgin, good looking, and absolutely desperate for a shag!

Hometown

Manchester

Occupation

Design Engineer / Fucking Pervert

Relationship status

My girlfriend hates me.

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