Morning - got a joke for you that I have just receieved. I'm not sure if I come under the senior citizen bit but hey:-
A VERY SELF-IMPORTANT COLLEGE FRESHMAN ATTENDING A RECENT FOOTBALL GAME, TOOK IT UPON HIMSELF TO EXPLAIN TO A SENIOR CITIZEN SITTING NEXT TO HIM WHY IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE OLDER GENERATION TO UNDERSTAND HIS GENERATION.
'YOU GREW UP IN A DIFFERENT WORLD, ACTUALLY AN ALMOST PRIMITIVE ONE,' THE STUDENT SAID, LOUD ENOUGH FOR MANY OF THOSE NEARBY TO HEAR.
'THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF TODAY GREW UP WITH TELEVISION, JET PLANES, SPACE TRAVEL, MAN WALKING ON THE MOON, OUR SPACESHIPS HAVE VISITED MARS. WE HAVE NUCLEAR ENERGY, ELECTRIC AND HYDROGEN CARS, COMPUTERS WITH DSL, BSP; LIGHT-SPEEDPROCESSING.....AND...'
PAUSING TO TAKE ANOTHER DRINK OF BEER, THE SENIOR TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE BREAK IN THE STUDENT'S LITANY AND SAID, 'YOU'RE RIGHT, SON. WE DIDN'T HAVE THOSE THINGS WHEN WE WERE YOUNG........SO WE INVENTED THEM.
NOW, YOU ARROGANT LITTLE SHIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE NEXT GENERATION?'
I've only got the one penny but I tell you what I've have a think about a question and get back to you. It would have to be a truthful answer though. Be prepared. Not sure if it will be tonight or tomorrow.
PS you should start messaging Irishlad2k7 if you are not already he seems kind of on our wave length
PPS I keep bloody sending replies to myself instead of you. I'm on the ball tonight obviously.
nah my friend was messing around with her fisheye lense..and asked me to pull a face!
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way
I'm definetly all woman I just learnt a long time ago that you can be sexy and girlie as well as being one of the lads. Plus the rugby thing meant I had to pass a lot of tests to hang around with the lads so I now know how you all think. Plus my "skills" have enabled me to persuade whichever party is involved at the time to think my way. Men think with their penis women with their brains. My brain just tunes into mens penises that way I can work you out.
hahhaha done deal
A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other.
The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.
The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles.
The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!"
The other one you describe to a lady friend of yours and then it benefits you and she also learns a method of getting what she wants out of men. Works for both of you!!! So have you had a good day?
hahaha its my computer, its goddam slow so i press it twice and it sends it twice...grrrrr
give us a sec!!
In the back woods of Scotland, Ian's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said: "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there Ian!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another wee one to come yet."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad...It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.
Then Ian scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
ahh i missed half the joke out
A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand.
“Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked.
“Well, teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet.”
Here are 2 things to make you happy
(1) I am now a fan of yours!! You proved yourself. Excellent descriptive word. I like your vocabulary.
(2) The art to knecking a pint quickly. Put you chin up and your kneck back as far as they will go. Swallow twice as that opens up everthing and then poor down. Don't swallow when you are drinking the pint if you have yourself at the right angle you shouldn't need to as it will all just flow down. You may possibly at the beginning need to swallow once but make it as small as possible so that it doesn't close everything up. NOW THAT INFORMATION IS ALSO HOW TO GIVE THE PERFECT BLOW JOB BUT I'M GUESSING YOU DON'T NEED IT FOR THAT BIT. I learnt all this from Cosmo when I was a youngster (the blow job bit). Trust me it was the best article I ever read. There we go hope it helps with the pint drinking. Keep me up to date.
Weird as in quite an eclectic personality. It's good trust me. A show needs variety and that is why I put that. I figured that weird would be picked up on much more than the boring "nice" "fun" etc. You didn't tag me what did you make of my profile?
PS - How quickly can you down a pint then?
PPS - If you want to know the truth women have an advantage over me on drinking a pint due to a certain sexual favour we perform. If you can do that well and get your kneck in the right position to "go deep" then downing a pint is no problem.
YEH IVE BEEN TO A FEW PLACES BUT HAVENT STARTED LONG HAUL YET ABSOLUTELY LOVIN IT ITS THE BEST JOB EVA YOU JUST HAVE A REALLY GOOD LAUGH ALL THE TIME NOT LIKE ANY OTHER JOB IVE DONE.IM OFF TO ALICANTE TOMORROW SO FINGERS CROSSED EVERYONE WONT BE TOO SMASHED !LOL
emerson has 42 comments: 1 - 42
are you still out there????
Posted by jojo123 about 1 year ago
i would like a roast tonight please.
Posted by jojo123 about 1 year ago
did u miss me???? back from hols now x
Posted by jojo123 about 1 year ago
Where's my gorgeous friend gone?
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
I haven't heard from you in ages. Have you abandoned me? :-)
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
i think i love you xxx
Posted by jojo123 about 1 year ago
hi been in 5 yrs im TA. hows firefighting? xxx
Posted by Monkey_Wench about 1 year ago
Morning - got a joke for you that I have just receieved. I'm not sure if I come under the senior citizen bit but hey:-
A VERY SELF-IMPORTANT COLLEGE FRESHMAN ATTENDING A RECENT FOOTBALL GAME, TOOK IT UPON HIMSELF TO EXPLAIN TO A SENIOR CITIZEN SITTING NEXT TO HIM WHY IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE OLDER GENERATION TO UNDERSTAND HIS GENERATION.
'YOU GREW UP IN A DIFFERENT WORLD, ACTUALLY AN ALMOST PRIMITIVE ONE,' THE STUDENT SAID, LOUD ENOUGH FOR MANY OF THOSE NEARBY TO HEAR.
'THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF TODAY GREW UP WITH TELEVISION, JET PLANES, SPACE TRAVEL, MAN WALKING ON THE MOON, OUR SPACESHIPS HAVE VISITED MARS. WE HAVE NUCLEAR ENERGY, ELECTRIC AND HYDROGEN CARS, COMPUTERS WITH DSL, BSP; LIGHT-SPEEDPROCESSING.....AND...'
PAUSING TO TAKE ANOTHER DRINK OF BEER, THE SENIOR TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE BREAK IN THE STUDENT'S LITANY AND SAID, 'YOU'RE RIGHT, SON. WE DIDN'T HAVE THOSE THINGS WHEN WE WERE YOUNG........SO WE INVENTED THEM.
NOW, YOU ARROGANT LITTLE SHIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE NEXT GENERATION?'
THE APPLAUSE WAS RESOUNDING...
I LOVE SENIOR CITIZENS
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
I've only got the one penny but I tell you what I've have a think about a question and get back to you. It would have to be a truthful answer though. Be prepared. Not sure if it will be tonight or tomorrow.
PS you should start messaging Irishlad2k7 if you are not already he seems kind of on our wave length
PPS I keep bloody sending replies to myself instead of you. I'm on the ball tonight obviously.
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
No I'm just a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Besides theres always more to learn I just have to find the right willing subject!!!
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
nah my friend was messing around with her fisheye lense..and asked me to pull a face!
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way
Posted by abby1234519 about 1 year ago
I'm definetly all woman I just learnt a long time ago that you can be sexy and girlie as well as being one of the lads. Plus the rugby thing meant I had to pass a lot of tests to hang around with the lads so I now know how you all think. Plus my "skills" have enabled me to persuade whichever party is involved at the time to think my way. Men think with their penis women with their brains. My brain just tunes into mens penises that way I can work you out.
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
hahhaha done deal
A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other.
The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.
The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles.
The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!"
Posted by abby1234519 about 1 year ago
The other one you describe to a lady friend of yours and then it benefits you and she also learns a method of getting what she wants out of men. Works for both of you!!! So have you had a good day?
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
aaaaaaaahahahahah
hey thats my one and only penny!
x
Posted by abby1234519 about 1 year ago
hahaha its my computer, its goddam slow so i press it twice and it sends it twice...grrrrr
give us a sec!!
In the back woods of Scotland, Ian's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said: "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there Ian!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another wee one to come yet."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad...It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.
Then Ian scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
Posted by abby1234519 about 1 year ago
ahh i missed half the joke out
A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand.
“Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked.
“Well, teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet.”
Posted by abby1234519 about 1 year ago
“Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked.
“Well, teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet.”
Posted by abby1234519 about 1 year ago
Here are 2 things to make you happy
(1) I am now a fan of yours!! You proved yourself. Excellent descriptive word. I like your vocabulary.
(2) The art to knecking a pint quickly. Put you chin up and your kneck back as far as they will go. Swallow twice as that opens up everthing and then poor down. Don't swallow when you are drinking the pint if you have yourself at the right angle you shouldn't need to as it will all just flow down. You may possibly at the beginning need to swallow once but make it as small as possible so that it doesn't close everything up. NOW THAT INFORMATION IS ALSO HOW TO GIVE THE PERFECT BLOW JOB BUT I'M GUESSING YOU DON'T NEED IT FOR THAT BIT. I learnt all this from Cosmo when I was a youngster (the blow job bit). Trust me it was the best article I ever read. There we go hope it helps with the pint drinking. Keep me up to date.
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
yeah ill b ur fan, i thought i already was lol! ur idea sounds good lol, but yeah a bit scary 2!!xx
Posted by sambucasam about 1 year ago
can i have a penny! please, i am a true deserver! x dunno if thats english but i deserve one for being friendly! x
Posted by angel_joey about 1 year ago
love that pic
Posted by dougsipple about 1 year ago
Weird as in quite an eclectic personality. It's good trust me. A show needs variety and that is why I put that. I figured that weird would be picked up on much more than the boring "nice" "fun" etc. You didn't tag me what did you make of my profile?
PS - How quickly can you down a pint then?
PPS - If you want to know the truth women have an advantage over me on drinking a pint due to a certain sexual favour we perform. If you can do that well and get your kneck in the right position to "go deep" then downing a pint is no problem.
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
campaigns goin well!! im spreadin the word!! well we could always hav 2 leprachauns! we'll show them how its dun!xx
Posted by sambucasam about 1 year ago
thanks. u've cheered me up a bit by sayin that. i want a job where i feel special.
Posted by krazykatie54 about 1 year ago
would u like 2 join my campaign 2 get an irish islander on shipwrecked this yr lol??
Posted by sambucasam about 1 year ago
wow, r u a hero then? u must b really brave 2 have that job.
Posted by krazykatie54 about 1 year ago
hey how ya doing? love the irish accent! x
Posted by Monkey_Wench about 1 year ago
penny for the poor! please!
u brave fireman, how long have u been doing that 4? x
Posted by angel_joey about 1 year ago
I tagged you as weird but in an intriguing way. Why shipwrecked?
Posted by Potkins about 1 year ago
wow, wot's it like 2 be a fireman? have a fan 4 bein brave.
Posted by krazykatie54 about 1 year ago
hey. i'm not 2 bad ta. u had a gd day?
Posted by krazykatie54 about 1 year ago
YEH IVE BEEN TO A FEW PLACES BUT HAVENT STARTED LONG HAUL YET ABSOLUTELY LOVIN IT ITS THE BEST JOB EVA YOU JUST HAVE A REALLY GOOD LAUGH ALL THE TIME NOT LIKE ANY OTHER JOB IVE DONE.IM OFF TO ALICANTE TOMORROW SO FINGERS CROSSED EVERYONE WONT BE TOO SMASHED !LOL
Posted by KAYxx about 1 year ago
nah!! theres a few on here matey!! u are the best obviously!! lol. x x
Posted by Sal13 about 1 year ago
im not compared to a lot of people lol. how are you?
Posted by sophieeeeee about 1 year ago
mmmm another fireman!! woo woo!! hello, how r u?? x x
Posted by Sal13 about 1 year ago
hey. hows u?
Posted by krazykatie54 about 1 year ago
Hi... show me your hose! ;-)
Posted by jojo123 about 1 year ago
yup its addictive stuff!!!! how are ya anyways xx
Posted by abilou99 about 1 year ago
RAAAAAH! x
Posted by thomro about 1 year ago
hey hun welcome to islandoo xx
Posted by abilou99 about 1 year ago
FIRE! x
Posted by thomro about 1 year ago