Greatest Achievment

Filling out these questions. Go me!

What I'd like to change about the following Celebrities

1. Russell Brand needs his tongue cut-out, or at least his hair-cut (not, erm that I can talk). 2. William Schatner must come to England. 3. Big's name in Sex & The City was lame.

Naughtiest thing I've ever done

Oh dear, there just isn't room. At Uni, for Sexual Awareness Week, we stapled condoms to the top-left of the advice-flyers for safe-sex. I have also consciously force-fed Orthadox Jews pork; oh and turned up naked to Graduation (it wasn't pretty)

I would like to be:

1. JD (Scrubs) 2. Optimus Prime 3. Tony Soprano 4. House 5. Barbra Streisand (te he he...no seriously)

Happiest when

I am sitting with friends in anti-social silence watching Scrubs with a giant Dominoes pizza. Actually, nooooo! I was happiest when I was five and I was given a Donatello Turtles outfit!

Favourite Joke

I apologize, it's a long one...but hey, it's hilarious! There were two little prawns: Michelle and Christian. Ironically, they were salmon pink. They'd been best friends for years. Each day they 'd swim in the Ocean with The Little Mermaid and Nemo (they had celebrity sea-chums). However, every lunch-time, the Sharks prowled menacingly. Now Michelle was quite the dish, so would often take refuge behind a convenient clump of sea-weed.She was always moaning to Christian: Why won't those nasty Sharks just leave me alone? Christian never had an answer. Anyway, one Winter afternoon, when Christian was still fast asleep - he'd got lucky with Jessica Jelly Fish, so was thoroughly worn out - Michelle - by pure co-incidence - bumped into Terry, a magical Trout. Terry offered her one wish. Michelle thought very carefully, for she'd always wanted to meet that rather fetching Celebrity, Ben Jacobs. Despite this perfectly common fantasy, Michelle eventually blurted-out, I want to be a shark, I want to be a shark, I want to be a shark. Terry Trout blankly stared for quite some time, then sighed heavily: You don't need to ask me three-times Dorothy, I'm not deaf. Terry then chanted some garbled Latin and just minutes later, Michelle was a Shark. She was so happy - but it was hardly fair to try and eat Terry as a celebration snack, but in fairness to Michelle the transformation had made her rather peckish. Later that day, Michelle rushed back to tell Christian the wonderful news. She briskly swam to his house screeching Chris Chris Chris. Chris (as he actually to be called) heard a vaguely familiar voice, but saw only a Shark. He was terrified. You see there's quite a big difference between a Prawn and a Shark. Chris hid and eventually Michelle went away. Worryingly, it wasn't just Chris who was ignoring her. As the days passed, Michelle realized she'd lost all her friends. She got so lonely and no other Shark (or even Dolphin) wanted to play (even Free Willy blanked her...but he was busy filming a Movie). Fortunately, one Saturday evening, at dinner-time, Michelle bumped into Terry Trout again. She apologized for trying to eat him and begged earnestly to be changed back. Terry agreed, providing Michelle promised to set him up with The Little Mermaid, who was recently divorced. Terry clicked his Fin-gers and just seconds-later, Michelle was a Prawn again. She rushed to find Chris. However, Chris really didn't want to be disturbed. He was sordidly looking at prawnography. When he heard the sound of someone approaching, he panicked and pretended not to be in. Michelle banged and banged and banged, but there was no answer. Chris, Chris, Chris, it's me Michelle. Unaware that Chris was busy looking at Octopussy and assuming he was only lying-low because she was a Shark, Michelle persisted, but to no avail. Eventually, she became so frustrated. She just couldn't wait to see her best friend any longer, so tried one last time. She rattled on the door, took a long, deep breath, and bellowed...it's Ok, it's OK, I'm a Prawn again Christian.

Hometown

Leicester

Occupation

Football Commentator

Relationship status

Single

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