Why am I called Lana?

Well it all started back on a dark stormy summers day in 1984. Julie ( mother ) was pregnant. Walking down market street in the rain, no umbrella to aid her, and her can bags saturated with rain water. Her sugar was ten pounds heavier than when she had purchased the item. Trudging along at a snails pace, she sees a light shining ever so vividly in the distance. The light shone brighter and brighter and till Julie was floating in a bubble of candyfloss coated clouds. Then a fairy called Vera appeared. Her voice mystical and soft, like the slow baked butter cookies from Sainsbury’s whispered “You shall call your daughter Lana” SO she did, and I am called Lana Julie Robinson, and very nice to meet you.

What di I really want from life.....

I want to finish at college which should be in about another 7 years. After which I WILL climb the ladder of success. The only thing that would stand between and my dream job of becoming a finance director would be a little specimen of a thing called MAN. Yes MAN are the reason that jobs such as the one I aim to hold are sometimes not foreseeable. I don’t have a boyfriend and I think that may have something to do with the fact that I hate men, you cant trust them, and my motto is that they are all cheating bastards. Im sorry guys but you are all. It baffles me that we are from the same species, women are actually sisters mothers and nieces to men. I want to stay single for as long as possible, get my own house paid or by moi. I want a fleet of cars that are mine, then when I do eventually meet a man it will be my man, he will walk into MY life into MY house and if the time come where he thought he could ever screw me over, well lets just say that he would have picked the wrong bitch.

If I could be painted any colour.......

I would be a deep purple, with a splash of green specs. You??

What I dont particualry like.....

I dont like girly gilrs. I do like girly girls, just not the type that scream and shout and jump around like a three year child who has just received her first ever babrbie doll......no no no no, this gives the impression that we are week minded individuals when we are not. I hate cats, spiders, snakes and more than that I hate pigeons. I swear to you noe pigeons are the devils vermon come to annoy every last single being on this planet. Come on now, if your honest about it, when your walking to work they seem to fly straight for you, their beaks sharpened to a razor point, and thoses beedy little horrible eyes poercing into you. URGH Cant stand the little fuckers. I also dont like, not that I mind coz I have friends like this, but people who NEED to be in a relationship. Erm wake up call being single is THE best thing since bruce willis FACT

My strangest fact which is not true.

Kermit the frog was orginally a cow but due to the obscene nature this caused when him and miss piggy kissed ABC had to remove it from air. Thus Kermit the Frog was born.

My heros!!

My mum, dad obvioulsy. My big bro may he rest in peace Big D, my grandad also. And of cousre the one the only Godzilla

Hometown

Oldham

Occupation

I make sure that the clouds in the sky are fluffy enough

Relationship status

Northern Lights

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